Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We left an ass print on the piano.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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