oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
