quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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