Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
