She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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