I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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