I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
