I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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