I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
