I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
