My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
