i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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