I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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