it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize