You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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