great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
