Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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