there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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