dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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