I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
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just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
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All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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