He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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