it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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