we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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