I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i think i have two assholes
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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