Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
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In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
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spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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