I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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