she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
