turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
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I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
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i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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