dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
ttyl tear gas
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
