She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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