She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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