If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
