She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Is Oprah even human
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
