weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
