I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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