Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize
