sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm both gender and math confused
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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