My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize