Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
