just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
