Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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