This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
