I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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