He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
there is glitter all over my balls
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
