I need help removing her.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
