In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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