I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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