Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?