we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
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I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
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He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible