Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day