well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...