Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
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I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
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U took a sewing needle to his nipple
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.