my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
