so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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