and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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