Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
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How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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