she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
