DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
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Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
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At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
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