does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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