She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
