I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
