i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
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we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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